Sunday morning, I and my family went to the Gembiraloka Zoo. We left home at 10.00 in the car. And got there around 11:00. I was very happy because it was my first time went to the zoo. So did brother.
I and my family there bought tickets. After bought a ticket, first thing we saw the elephant enclosure, where I ride an elephant. I wake up early after a bit scared but it was interesting. After that we were to cage birds, monkeys and some other mammals.
We started at 3:00. I came home I was very tired. Although tired, I'm glad I was able to relax and gather with family.
Dias Oktri Raka Setiadi
VIII C/09
I and my family there bought tickets. After bought a ticket, first thing we saw the elephant enclosure, where I ride an elephant. I wake up early after a bit scared but it was interesting. After that we were to cage birds, monkeys and some other mammals.
We started at 3:00. I came home I was very tired. Although tired, I'm glad I was able to relax and gather with family.
Dias Oktri Raka Setiadi
VIII C/09
I love your writing. You are such a talented student.
BalasHapusYour first paragraph is very good. however, try to make the second better e.g. "I and my family there to go buy tickets" change to "My family and I bought some tickets."
Use a sequence of events such as first, next, then and after that.
Revise it then. thank you.
I am very happy because this is my first time to the zoo.
BalasHapusTry to make it become :
I was very happy because it was my first time went to the zoo.
Thank you :)
After buying a ticket first thing we see is the elephant enclosure
BalasHapusTry to make it better :
After bought a ticket, first thing we saw the elephant enclosure
Thanks :D
Thanks Esensi :)
BalasHapusyou are welcome Dias :)
BalasHapus